The 5 S of Our Lives

I attended a talk by Dr. Andrew Goh (an NTU prof) on a topic very dear to me - "What do you want out of your life?".

I love it when he simplified how people would answer the following question:-
"How's Life?"

There are basically 5 possible answers (or in any other form but within the same context of the 5). They're the 5 S. Starting at the lowest level...

5. Struggling
We live our life struggling through our daily activities, earning.. well... not enough to feed ourselves and family. Plenty of hardships. People from all levels can be in this stage including managers who earn well over $10k/month. E.g. Earn $10k, spend $11k or maybe working in an environment that blocks one's growth... This answer is quite common.

4. Surviving
This is the MOST common answer I hear among friends. I had a wide grin hearing this answer as it was something I could relate to. In financial terms, this could mean you just earn enough to cover your financial burden (guess that's why this answer is very common among fresh grads - earning their starting pay but have to pay off loans, etc... leaving them with 0 balance every month.)

3. Stabilising
Well, I haven't heard anyone use this term specifically... Too formal. I guess it's relative would be "Ok lor", "Good", "Fine". This one also quite common to hear. This is a stage of our lives where things are abit more stable. No need to worry too much about finances as you have extra coming in but at the same time, there are unknown events that can still tear you down to S4 or S5 (e.g. retrenchment).

2. Succeeding
Again, don't hear anyone use this before... Something similar? Probably... I have not really interviewed a succeeding person. Hmmm... was around some succeeding people but... hmmm... I'm at a loss for words. This is quite interesting. There's definitely a meaning behind this for myself. Anyway, succeeding is a good stage, alot of those that I met in this stage look quite happy. However, not all are. In terms of financial independence, most of them have it. Tony Robbins mentioned that we humans have 6 basic needs, the first 4 needs can be easily be satisfied by superficial things including drinking, smoking, etc (that's why we have heard stories of some rich people cheating on their wife? It's just that something is empty inside...). One may be financially free but can still be empty... which is why the final S...

1. SIGNIFICANCE
Leaving a positive legacy/mark in other people's life....... be it your family, friends, strangers, etc. Doing work where your full potential is utilised. I am unable to fully describe this but personally, it is something that I feel deep inside my heart. I used to think I should chase money, interestingly, after seeking the masters who have "been there, done that", I realised it isn't right. The more I chase it, the more elusive it is. Instead, focus on the fundamentals - leading a significant life will naturally bring money... the more significant, the more income. At the moment, this is just a theory/plan that I strongly agree.


"You can get anything you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want." ~ Zig Ziglar

"There is no shortcut to any place worth going" ~ Anonymous

My Top 5 Signature Themes

Last week, I was introduced to this book - "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Marcus Buckingham. It talks about how most of us live our lives focusing on fixing our weaknesses. Alot of times, we take our strengths for granted. Well, no point for me going into too much detail about this, you can check this out in his website or the book.

Anyway, the great part about the book was a unique ID key that allows you access to create an account to take the StrengthsFinder profile quiz. And, below is my "simple" certificate. Read simple description of each here.

From the top 5 themes, I realised something very profound. As I continue to read the book (quite fast to finish - about 3 days), I could relate to each of the 5 themes and understood why I did what I did...... It all made sense.

Restorative - I take alot of pleasure in fixing problems (technical, personal, relationships). The more complicated it is, if I can fix it - I feel satisfaction. Otherwise, definitely will feel defeated, spend hours thinking through the problem, patterns and how to solve it. Some obvious examples for myself are my eagerness to help friends fix their computer related problems, spending hours playing Sudoku (those super hard ones), Weiqi, etc. I remember my time at my previous IT job, spending time overnight at the Data Centre trying to fix a system down issue, couldn't fix it, felt frustrated (due to pressure from upstairs? maybe not... looking back I think it was more of myself)

Learner - I didn't really notice this until recently which explains my increased frequency to library. However, learning not necessarily means reading. I learn various skills. When I was young, I enjoy learning notes in the school band, learnt abit of drumming. I picked up cooking. I picked up Weiqi, Salsa, Mahjong, Chinese Chess, IT technologies. My learner theme comes into play as I write this blog as I feel so passionately that I need to share what I learn to confirm my learning. Also, I can see how my Restorative theme and my Learner theme pair up when I play Chinese Chess (although I got thrashed heavily in Viwawa, I kept pressing on... because I want to learn ... and restore). I think my housemates can verify this. They are very much surprised at why I spend so much time playing over and over, losing over and over.. until I finally manage to win abit more consistently.

Harmony - Ah... ok. This one - I am generally nice person :) ... I think the term - Agree to Disagree Agreeably comes into play here? Maybe abit to specific but more of ... as long as general environment friendly and happy, good. A good example is when I play online games (where kids these days generally are so rude, you'd fear for the next generation), I tend to keep quiet and ignore nasty comments than talk back. At the back of my head, I was thinking - it doesn't affect me, why bother.. they can be as rude as they want to be if it makes them happy.

Context - This is an interesting one. This is very true - I feel alot more connected to a person if I get to understand their past. Mixing this with my Restorative nature, I have made use of this strength before in rationalizing why people do what they do. I do love finding more about history' e.g. why Adolf Hitler came to power and yet this mad-man was a son who loves his mother so much. It intrigues me.

Responsibility - Honesty & Loyalty eh. Hmmm... This particular theme, I do feel I have it but sometimes I question it. I thought that probably Positivity would be higher on this list. However, since I wrote my initial comments as such, it could probably mean I have not fully utilised this particular strength. However, I do have a recent example of something I did for my client. I went out of my way, got into some trouble for the sake of my client to ensure that I have acted responsibly in his best interest.

There's alot of things going through my mind after finding out this. As one of my strongest theme is Context, I'm looking back at all the events happening to me and using my learner and restorative strength, I'm rationalizing and determining how I came to be what I am today. Anyway, shouldn't dwell too much on where I'm weak. I'm actually very excited now I know my strengths...... Today is only like Day 1 where I try to notice how my strengths come into play during my daily activity (possibly my learner strength energize me here, ie. applying what I learnt).